his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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