I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize