I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
