forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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