Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize