my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
