going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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