hell yes lets make some ravioli
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
