Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
