for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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