We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
