We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
