Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
