He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
