Me. At least after what I've been through.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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