I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Green mimosas i think yes
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i think i just lost a toe
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
