i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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