So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
don't judge my taste in strippers
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
