At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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