She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
