If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
