love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
