Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
