My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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