Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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