i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
