Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
