im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
