At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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