Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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