You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
