Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
