my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I lost the right to judge tonight
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
