the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
