I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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