Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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