I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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