apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
