is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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