Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
