I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
