Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I had to cum in my sink.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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