woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
