And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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