It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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