just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
