Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
