You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
