batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize