No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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