I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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