So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Someone shit on the floor
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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