No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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