Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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