hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
