THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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