just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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