I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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