Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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