he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
