is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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