Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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