I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
