yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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