one might say we're banned from that church
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
