Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
