If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
