wrigley field is MILF paradise
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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